There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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