If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
