I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm sobbing to NWA
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year