i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
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You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.