i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day