Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

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  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4206) Bad night (771)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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  (802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1
  Replies (47) Good night (758) Bad night (6199)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  What?!

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!

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  (913): Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom... (1-913): What?! (913): Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!! http://tfl.nu/4m0s
  Replies (35) Good night (1099) Bad night (9054)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck

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  (260): My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck http://tfl.nu/clun
  Replies (41) Good night (4483) Bad night (908)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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  (304): He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight. http://tfl.nu/5vdu
  Replies (60) Good night (15414) Bad night (2340)
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  (562): View more from California

  I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service

  (562): View more from California

  And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.

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  (562): I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service (562): And I got $4 when somebody made it rain. http://tfl.nu/btbw
  Replies (4) Good night (2675) Bad night (1320)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  all of the above

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  (303): so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after??? (1-303): all of the above http://tfl.nu/yvgg
  Replies (2) Good night (1550) Bad night (462)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.

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  (708): we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now. http://tfl.nu/89m6
  Replies (5) Good night (2870) Bad night (580)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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  (303): I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day. http://tfl.nu/g7z2
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (525)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.

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  (314): Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink. http://tfl.nu/x6ah
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (536)
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  (626): View more from California

  It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass

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  (626): It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass http://tfl.nu/014k
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (663)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Also the fuck cup must be buried with me

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  (305): Also the fuck cup must be buried with me http://tfl.nu/f60l
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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  (708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (325)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour

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  (306): this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour http://tfl.nu/3t2e
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.

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  (773): No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0utw
  Replies (0) Good night (626) Bad night (262)

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