i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We just shotgunned beers for America
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We are all done wearing pants today
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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