All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
