If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
