Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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