I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
