I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize