He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
