You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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