I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
