I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we made out on top of his cat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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