So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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