Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
