We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
