Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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