Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
