She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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