So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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