this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm eating all of the evidence.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
