What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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