Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
