You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Do vagina's smell?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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