Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
