Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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