idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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