i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
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Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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