so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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