I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
