maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
