Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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