dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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