You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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