its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
