I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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