living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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