I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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