Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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