"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
