when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
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I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"