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• (713): View more from Texas

  So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

  Fav 10 1727 807

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

  Fav 105 13579 1992

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle

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• (716): View more from New York

  She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

  Fav 21 1631 4209

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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• (714): View more from California

  I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I adore you.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day

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