found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
