i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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