You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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