Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
