Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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