doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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