There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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