I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have fence marks all over my body
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
