After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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