there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
