I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need moral support for this bender
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
