my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
