Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
