Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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