Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
