the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
pray to the hookup gods
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
