If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
