I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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