Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
