I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
