Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize