Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
