Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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