Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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