you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
